Forever is Fragile
by words end here
Summary: Blair/Nate. Post 2x25 oneshot. "It’s as if he doesn’t know the Upper East Side any better than he knew Budapest or Rome and there’s only one place that comes to mind when he thinks of who he wants to spend a lazy summer day with."


**A/N: **I know, at the end of _IST_ I said I wouldn't be back for a while with BN. But listening to a lot of Coldplay and reading '_You're the one that I want'_ had me up at three in the morning; I just had to write something in regards to their breakup. Enjoy, please review and thanks for taking the time to read.

**Forever is Fragile**

--

_Serena: It doesn't make sense!  
__Blair__: Feelings never do. They get you all confused. Then they drive you around for hours before they drop you right back where you __**started**__._

_- Blair and Serena in the Wrath of Con_

--

It's nothing like it's supposed to be.

Blair Waldorf is in love with Chuck Bass, at least she still thinks she is. He turns up in the middle of the day with presents and a bouquet in his arm after an extensive shopping trip in Europe and he's finally ready to look straight into her cobalt blue eyes and declare himself. He buys her anything she wants, not that he even has to ask because he just knows her so well and _it has to be true love _Blair thinks, because if it isn't – if there's the slightest bit of doubt that seeps into their relationship, then everything she has done for the past year; declaring her love for him time and time again to be met with vicious remarks and silence, comforting him when all he's done in turn is do his utmost to inflict hurt upon her, then all that masochistic torture was all for a summer fling.

She loves him, she really does. Serena once said that they were basically the same person, Blair of course being him in the female version and Chuck basically being Blair in the male version. Blair now shudders when she thinks back to Serena's little casual remark, made in a call when Blair demanded what Serena was _actually _doing in Europe.

Except Serena wasn't in Europe anymore. Nobody runs as fast or as far as the blond best friend of Blair Waldorf and by the time Blair had actually crawled out of Chuck's limousine, her chestnut hair tussled and clothes practically falling off her to call S, she was already wrapped in Carter Baizen's arms on a white sand beach located in Dubai.

Blair just giggled. Besides, she couldn't be too jealous considering she had already had her turn with Mister Baizen. With that said, she wouldn't have such an accepting attitude if Serena was wrapped in her former golden boy's arms either.

Sometimes, when she's just resting, or wrapped up warm Chuck's embrace whilst watching a classic movies on a lazy Sunday, Blair wonders if Nate and Serena would ever become a couple. When she analyzes herself with Chuck, they have so much in common and want all the same things with each other that it's comfortable, and two months into the relationship it's become predictable at this point. She loves him, he loves her. That much is clear. The sex was enthralling at the start, like back in the good old days when it was all bowties and hair bands but now it's become a tad...mechanical. Some days, when she knocked on the door of room 1812, the door would open to reveal Chuck in an outfit co-ordinated to her own; they were just that in sync with each other.

And when she secretly compares Nate and Serena with each other, _they _are so similar that they could be the new, blond version of Chuck and Blair.

When the thought fleets across Blair's mind, it's the first time she feels a sense of anxiety all summer.

When she calls Serena the same evening she discovers than the blond has no intentions of returning the City or making a start on higher education anytime soon and Blair feels more relief than what she really should.

They're lounging in his decadent suite, their summer hideaway. They didn't leave the country all summer; just headed to the Hamptons for a couple of weeks, they couldn't wait to get home. It didn't matter where they were, as long as they had each other.

But reality has a habit of crashing down on one without warning, and in the Upper East Side that's no exception, it just happens to crash down whilst the women are donning their Gucci gowns and the men polish off whatever their favourite brand of imported scotch is.

"We're going out, tonight, Waldorf." He smirks in that low, smooth voice that was once so irresistible. "Anywhere you want and we'll take the limo home." His smile is one of excitement as he kisses her forehead and leaves to choose a suit for the evening. It's a far cry from the broken, shadow of a man that was fading away months ago, falling asleep in her bed only to be gone when Blair awoke.

She fails to remember what she was trying to capture with Chuck. The sense of elation she felt when he said those three words for everyone to hear definitely qualified as one of the most romantic experiences she ever had.

But you can't build a relationship on one great moment, however astounding it was.

And this is Blair Waldorf. Being rejected by Yale hadn't changed her, yes she was being diverted to a different path, but she was still adamant on getting her perfect ending.

Blair shouldn't have to think she's in love, she should _feel _that she's in love.

She doesn't.

This wasn't the plan.

It's nothing like it's supposed to be.

* * *

Nate Archibald is a broken man, haunted by memories of the petite brunette who he has started referring to as the love of his life.

He thinks it's all ridiculous and yet, at the same time he knows he deserves it. He didn't want her as much as she wanted – _needed -_ him the first time around so the second time around she didn't want or need him as much as he wanted her. So he deserves it, not that he was ever a believer in karma before he found out that his best friend was sleeping with his girlfriend.

He backpacks around Europe with Vanessa drowning every native European beer he can find. He doesn't drink to have fun this summer, he drinks to forget, however momentary the lack of memory lasts he still wakes up every morning hoping he'll find Blair's hand in his. Instead it's Vanessa lying beside him.

This trip with Vanessa is the most platonic experience Nate has ever had involving a girl. Sometimes he wishes he wanted her, because it would be so easy to fall for Vanessa all over again, with her long, black curls and down to earth attitude. But he just doesn't. They function surprisingly well as friends and he suspects that she can't wait to get back anyway to become friends with Scott, and probably more.

And it actually gives him a small sense of pride to know that for once, he's kept it in his pants. Perhaps there's some restraint in Archibald genetics after all.

He roams through his luggage when they're staying in the dirtiest hostel in existence located in Paris. He's looking for the moss green cashmere sweater because he knew; he knew Blair belonged in Paris. It was always going to be their honeymoon destination. The home of labels, the home of love. He doesn't want anyone else with him more in this moment than Blair Waldorf. The thought almost moves him to tears.

"So you're still in love with her, after all this time?" Vanessa observes as he looks at the sweater. It'll be with him always. He knows he'll never have the courage to return it to Blair, and he knows she'll never desire anything romantic with him ever again.

And Vanessa knows her relationship with Nate was a lie. Between his fling with Jenny and his precious last chance with Blair, how could have he had room in his heart for Vanessa? Space for anything _real _to develop?

"I don't know what I'm doing." He mumbles, Nate Archibald's lost and that's nothing new. "I should have tried harder...I shouldn't have let her go...I mean Chuck had so many chances and it's only when I'm with her does he finally make his move..." He trails off.

"You did the right thing by letting her go, Nate." Vanessa tries to comfort him, "I mean you know the old saying. If you love them set them free and if they come back to you it's meant to be." The cheesy expression makes Nate shake his head. He wanted to hold onto Blair and not just until the song ended. He wants to hold onto Blair and cling on for dear life. He wants to call her, tell her he's sorry he didn't fight for her and vow to fight for upon returning home. Hell, he'd jump on the next plane out of here regardless of Vanessa if Blair told him to come home.

He'd do anything.

But the fact that he's the golden boy and her name is Blair Waldorf just isn't enough anymore.

He scrolls down his list of contacts, highlighting the names of those who mean most to him.

It's Blair he calls.

She doesn't answer.

* * *

When she returns home to the Waldorf Brownstone for the first time in days, she checks her cell to find she has one missed call from Nate. A sentimental smile curls on her lips.

Dorota informs her that he's been calling the house phone daily too and she wonders what's so important. Maybe he was in serious trouble...with the thought of Nate in danger racing through her mind, she immediately called him back.

No answer.

"Nate, its Blair. Listen, Dorota just told me about your calls and I've been...preoccupied. Please call me back to let me know that you're safe, okay? And if it was just to check in well, I hope you're having fun sweetheart." She clicked off.

Oh crap.

_Sweetheart?_

Blair's palm flew to her head in complete embarrassment.

Then she just shook her head with a smile she just couldn't suppress. After all, it wasn't anything he hadn't heard before. He'd think nothing of it. And right now, she wishes she thought nothing of it.

She wishes she would have just answered his call, even if she was in the middle of a make-out session with Chuck. Then there would be none of this nonsense, and maybe the game of tag between her and Nate would finally just stop.

* * *

"_...and if it was just to check in well, I hope you're having fun sweetheart."_

And he can't help but spend the whole day grinning like a complete fool.

* * *

Perhaps Nate is a fool.

Actually, he knows that's an understatement.

It's the twenty fifth of August when he and Vanessa return again, and everyone seems surprised when it turns out that they're not a couple. Dan's eyes widen, Scott smiles hoping that nobody notices but of course Vanessa does and Nate bets that within a week they'll be together.

Nate doesn't know where he fits in here, amongst Dan, V and Scott. He's sure they'll make quite the boring threesome during their time at NYU but perhaps it's time that his dabbling in Brooklyn came to an end.

Except he doesn't know who to call or where to be anymore, it's as if he doesn't know the Upper East Side any better than he knew Budapest or Rome and there's only one place that comes to mind when he thinks of who he wants to spend a lazy summer day with.

* * *

"Hey, Waldorf," Chuck begins as the limo door opens to deposit her home.

Blair turns around, smiles and his eyes sparkle the way she always wanted them too.

"You know I love you, right?" He says in that tone, complete with a smirk straight from Marlon Brando.

She wants her cheeks to heat up and blush. She wants her stomach to flip. She wants to exchange his words back breathlessly.

Nothing.

Instead she kisses his lips fleetingly and tells him to come to her place for brunch the next morning.

* * *

Her Christian Laboutin heels pound against the floor as she exits the elevator.

Nate _still _hasn't called her back.

"Ms Blair? You have guest waiting for you! Mister Nate." Dorota informs her shrilly upon her entrance.

Blair is literally stopped in her tracks.

Dorota takes her coat.

"What? Why? Where is he then?" She inquires, taken aback.

"He insisted he wait in your room Ms Blair. He's been waiting quite a while, you'd be best to greet him promptly."

Blair raced up her staircase then paused for a moment before entering.

"Nathaniel Archibald. You're alive?" He can hear the smile in her tone and he arose from where he'd been previously lying on her four poster bed.

"I'm sorry for being here unannounced I just...I had to see you. I missed you and I wanted to see how you were doing, we haven't hung out all summer." Nate replied, just like the old friend he was _supposed _be.

"Don't be sorry." She responds, flinging off her heels and removing her hair band, "I missed you too and it didn't help that you refused to answer your calls. Busy with Vanessa?" She asks more bitter than she intended.

"I got your message," Nate began, unable to contain a smirk at the memory, "and no, not busy in _that _way." He assures her.

"Sorry, I was off with Chuck today and we have plans for tomorrow but someday, okay Archibald?" She sits on the bed beside him and they gaze out her window at the spectacular views. Lights piercing the twilight. He misses this, all of it.

"Someday." He repeats.

They sit there in silence; there's no need to fill it. They're both so at ease with each other and it's because they know each other so well.

"Well, I'll see you soon." Nate hugs her and it nearly breaks her.

She refuses to be stuck between them ever again. She wonders who has the bigger part of her; Nate or Chuck? She honestly doesn't know. Chuck may have been her first sexual experience but Nate is her first love, heartbreak and first-time for a lot of things.

First Valentines when they were ten years of age.

First kiss.

The list goes on...

"Hey no, it's late – stay." She replies, shaking her head at his goodbye.

He laughs that boyish laugh, "I've heard that before –

"Oh come on Nate. It's late and summers nearly over. This could be the last..." she trails off, knowing this is all sorts of wrong.

But it feels right. Like pieces of the puzzle slotting into all the correct places. With him, it just always has. Sometimes, things were really that simple in Blair Waldorfs existence. And it was in these moments of simplicity that surprisingly, she found security, a place where everything was safe.

And insecurity? That's over rated and sometimes mistaken for the right choice.

So Nate stays and he's certain this can only lead to trouble.

But it doesn't. They just lie on the covers of her bed, reminiscing, laughing and relishing the new lives they're about to begin.

"What will I do?" Blair gasps towards her high ceiling.

"What do you mean?" Nate's eyebrows furrow.

"I just...oh, ignore me." She dismisses once again, with a crooked smile.

"No. Let down the barriers Blair." He jeers timidly.

"Only for you." She whispers with a shaky smile.

"Chuck and I. I'm just concerned about how we're going to make it last, you know? Perfection only arrives in moments and...My standards are too high. And you should know." She admits in confessional tone.

"Hey," Nate begins, all of a sudden serious, "Don't lower them Blair. I failed to meet them –

"No. Not the second time around. It was my fault. And I can't blame Serena or Chuck anymore for that."

"What do you want me to do to help you?" He asks in the earnest tone that's ever rushed into her ears.

"Nothing." She replies playfully.

"What do you need? Tell me."

_Make me believe that you're in love with me. And I promise, we'll have it all. The sailing trips the honeymoon in Paris, the townhouse with the blond boy and brunette girl running around in the garden. We'll have what we originally wanted all back and nothing else will matter because we were in love, we still are and we always will be._

"I need sleep." She chokes the words out. Their gazes lock.

Nate reaches out to rub her arm.

* * *

Blair is fully clothed, pristine and make-up done to perfection before nine o'clock, she couldn't sleep just lying next to him. There was something still there - memories and static.

Chuck arrives at eleven just as Nate is waiting on the elevator to arrive.

"Nathaniel." Chuck's greeting is one of sheer distrust and concern.

"Chuck." Nate rolls his eyes and waits for Blair to send him off. He has lilies in his hands.

"Blair?" The guys both say in unison as she enters the foyer.

_Another one for the brunch buddies love triangle scrapbook she_ thinks bitterly.

"Nate stayed over last night." Blair excused the occurrence like it was perfectly normal and routine, Chuck's smile slipped off his face.

"I just had...nowhere to stay and it was late and –

"It's okay Nathaniel. We know who belongs with whom now." He exits the elevator, giving the lilies to Blair and swiftly kissing her cheek. Nate stops and stares and resists punching Chuck all the way back to Vanessa's bed.

That's before he hugs Blair as a goodbye and presses a kiss to her forehead.

Nate lets her go and his stare never tears from hers as he walks into the elevator.

Chuck departs into the dining room, the scent of brunch wafting into the foyer. "Doesn't know when he's been beaten." She hears Chuck mumble.

And when the elevator doors shut, Blair can feel a moment in he life shift.

Her forever was lying next to her last night within inches, and now it was shut away, in an elevator door. Taking residence far from the Upper East Side.

Her forever was vowing to help her, ready to meet her every need and she avoided it like a coward. This isn't Blair Cornelia Waldorf, espiecially when it involved Nathaniel Archibald.

And as a singular tear fall down her right porcelain cheek, and smiles through it and realises that her forever...is still forever.

* * *

End.

* * *

**A/N: **Comments? (: I was looking back through some of my other fic and I wrote companion pieces last summer involving B and N lying in her bedroom being all innocent and sweet, LOL guess I have a thing for N randomly showing up a B's door; it should totally happen on the show when Josh develops a sense of taste. Thanks for reading! xoxo


End file.
